In It For The Parking

It has been *such* a hard several days.

At first, I was going to write a post here about suicidal ideation and compulsion in people with chronic disease.

Then, I was going to write about coping with a lack of mobility.

Then, I was going to write about dealing with both of them in a relationship...

But to be honest with you all, I don't feel like I'm in any position to write about what to do in any of those situations because I'm dealing with all of them right now and haven't come out the other side yet.

I have to say, I'm worried about myself. ( Read more... )

I wish I could tell you all that I'm through the worst. I certainly hope that I am. I'm just having a horrible time getting the motivation to do anything but sit online and read and write. I don't feel music inside me. I just don't see the point in anything I do right now. I've now sent out over 50 resumes in the last month, and I had ONE call back... and after a great interview, I still haven't gotten a second interview.

I think about how many people wish and pray to God for time to do the things they want in their life. ALL that I have is time right now, and I'm just wasting it, aside from this blog. Hell, I don't even know if this blog is gonna help anyone besides me. I guess if it even does that, it's worth something.

This cognitive dissonance is really bugging me. I hope it ends soon, and not with me having done something painfully stupid. I'm better than that.

It’s SPAM!

Over 160 “comments” today to my article about new MS Meds… which were all about videos and casinos and other random BS. Thankfully, WordPress has ways to fix that crap but fast.

Can anyone explain to me *why* people bother using a bot to spam the shit out of one page? I mean, if you want to get customers, I can see 1 post per entry - but I guess the bots aren’t set up for that. Besides, who would come for MS and Seizure Disorder info, or even a glimpse into my world who would genuinely be swayed by spam on my site to go play at an online casino? Let alone an online casino who posted over 150 links…

I guess it’s my fault for letting people put their website on their comments who aren’t registered. I just don’t want people to have to register to leave a comment. *shrug* I figured it’d be easier to get interaction with my readers that way.

Anyway, I’m chilling at my friend Jenny’s house today. She’s come over to my place SO many times since I haven’t been able to drive that Adam took pity on us both and dropped me over here for a day with one of my favorite people in L.A. Why do I love this girl? Because we passed several homeless people on the way to lunch, and I asked her on the way back if we could stop at Subway, and I didn’t even have to justify to her why I was buying a footlong sandwich for a homeless person I never even talked to. I saw his halloween candy stash and just put the footlong sandwich on top. I hope when he wakes up that it makes his day.

Sushi, girl talk, a marathon viewing of How I Met Your Mother, Season One, and even a nice long walk (30 minutes each way!) that I completed without pain or seizure. Can you ask for better than that?

I know I’ve said it before, but being off Keppra has been so astoundingly fantastic. I had a couple of seizures yesterday, but once again - restful sleep without nightmares, almost no brain fog, and I’m way more energetic.

So anyway, I should get back to the HIMYM marathon of goodness and continue making bracelets. I know I keep taunting you by saying, “Pictures coming soon!” but I really mean it! I’ve got several designs now.

Happy Monday, everyone.